No matter who you’re dating, you have to decide when it’s the right time to get intimate. Whether you adhere to the three-date rule or prefer the sex-on-first-date trend, only you can know when it’s the right moment to make your romantic connection physical.
One thing is for sure: the longer you wait to have sex, the more intense your experience will be.
According to a 2015 study, most couples decide to become exclusive and stop seeing other people after six dates. However, each couple is different and has its own rhythm.
Regardless of how many dates you go on before intimacy, it is important to establish a touchy relationship early on by flirting, teasing, and showcasing your sense of humor. Then gradually get more intimate by touching her in polite ways (like grabbing her hand or arm) until she feels comfortable with it.
Ultimately, you will know when it is time to have sex. It could be after your first date, or you may take months or even a wedding ceremony before you sleep together.
A second date is an opportunity to see whether the chemistry you felt on the first date continues. This is also an ideal time to initiate physical affection, such as holding hands or leaning on your date’s shoulder if they are comfortable with it.
A second date can also be the perfect opportunity to ask your date more in-depth questions about their beliefs, values and big picture goals for life. This is a great chance to show your date that you are interested in them beyond just sex. However, don’t push too hard for a commitment too soon. This can put them on the defensive and make them feel pressured.
While sex might be on the mind of many guys by the third date, it’s not always a given. Some guys can be slow to open up, especially if they’ve had previous bad experiences with relationships.
By the third date, it’s a good idea to talk about your life goals and find out more about your partner. This can be done by taking them out to a fun activity, like bowling or an escape room, that requires active listening. This shows you care about them and are interested in getting to know them more deeply. It also gives them a chance to see your personality in action. This can make them more attracted to you.
Once you get to date four with a guy, it’s time to look at whether or not he wants to take things further. If he talks about his plans for the future and seems excited to see you, it’s a good sign that he wants a serious relationship.
He might even ask you out on a day-date (like a picnic, museum tour, or amusement park visit) and casually transition into the evening portion of your date. This is a great way to find out more about his personality and how well you work together.
Of course, there is no such thing as a “standard” number of dates before intimacy. It all depends on how comfortable you are with the person and what your needs are.
Some couples go on 10 dates before deciding to become exclusive. This isn’t a time clock but rather a way to test the waters and see where the relationship goes. If they talk about a future together and plan activities like going to the movies or having dinner with friends, this could be a sign they are ready to commit.
It is important to note that this is not the case for everyone, but it is a good idea to be patient and consider your options. Be sure to discuss safety issues with your partner, no matter what number of dates you decide to make intimate. This is especially important if you are dating older men or have other concerns.
Usually around the sixth date, it’s reasonable to start assessing whether your new partner is ready for commitment. If they’re bringing you to their family’s homes, introduce you to their friends, and talk about the future, it’s likely that they want to go all in.
Jacob Lucas, 30, from Westbury, Wiltshire, makes his living helping people in their relationships. He says that while celibacy may seem like a good idea, it will only do more harm than good in the long run. Waiting for the three dates rule will give you a more positive mental association with sex. This will lead to better, more fulfilling sex. It will also build trust.
Unless you’re on an extremely physical date, the seventh or eighth date might not feel like a great time to have sex. However, if you’ve gone on several short dates and are already getting quite close with your date, this might be the right moment to talk about exclusivity.
Dating expert Jacob Lucas, from Westbury in Wiltshire, makes a living out of helping people in relationships. He says the old three-date rule is still a good guide but that the new celibacy trend among millennials can actually do more harm than good. He suggests that if a man is talking about going on dates and meeting his family, this might be a good sign.
The last two dates help couples talk about the things that make or break long-term commitments. These include trust and commitment, conflict and managing differences, money, family, fun and adventure, growth and spirituality, and dreams.
While the three-date rule may seem outdated, experts say it’s important to wait until at least the eighth date to sleep together. That’s when both partners can be sure they understand their boundaries and what empowered sex means to them. It also gives them the time to address any issues that need to be addressed. This will help reduce misunderstandings and conflict down the road. Whether you’re newly dating or already in a relationship, these eight lively conversations can make the difference between happiness and misery for years to come.